Pregnant or fat

I look kind of pregnant now. Not, I think, so pregnant that people on the street are necessarily all “MAN THAT CHICK IS SO PREGNANT”, but… still, kind of pregnant.

I am also still trying to imply, in my little professional life (such as it is) that I am not pregnant. I’m not lying or anything. I just… don’t want to bring it up. So I try to wear clothes that are ambiguous. The downside of ambiguous clothes is that they make you look like you’ve been eating WAY TOO MANY SANDWICHES. Normally, of course, this would make me reject certain outfits. Now it makes me embrace them joyfully.

Every time I go to a meeting, I make Seth check out my outfit:

“What do you think? Fat or pregnant?”

“Um… you look fairly pregnant.”

“Argh. How about what I wore yesterday?”

“Let me see it again.”

(two minutes pass.)

“What do you think?”

“Oh yeah. Definitely fat.”

“YES.”

And off I go, hoping that the producer will think that I, like many writers, spend way too much time on the couch, moping about my precious words and eating Doritos.

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2 responses to “Pregnant or fat

  1. It is rare that a woman preferrs to be told she looks fat.lol

  2. hilarious! i love it….i’m not pregnant but i’d like to still try this.

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