Here is the latest nonsense song, sung in the style of a saccharine popular recording from the ’20s or ’30s. It may help to imagine me in a straw boater, changing a baby. (Elana sings the line in parentheses.)
It’s on the bottom…
It’s on your bottom,
It’s on your nads.
What a surprise
For moms and dads!
(It might even be a surprise for you….)
I said some pretty stern things about Christopher Hitchens a few months ago, so I’m delighted to be able to recommend his newest article, which is about how to make a decent cup of tea. He recommends fighting the baristas at your local Starbuck’s, but I think that’s a lost cause. Their tea is simultaneously scalding and unpleasant-tasting. (Their iced tea is worse — completely unsatisfactory in all three flavors, even if you let them sweeten it.)
Screenwriter John August has a new post up about how to live with a newborn. It’s pretty good!
I don’t agree with him about co-sleeping, which for us was a life-saver. But perhaps the benefits of co-sleeping are less apparent if you’re not breastfeeding, and anyway the rest of his advice is exactly right. E.g.:
Don’t buy too much. With the exception of car seats, almost everything you get for your baby can be second-hand. If you have friends with kids, happily take all their old baby stuff. Get things off Craigslist or Freecycle. And pass it along when you’re done. Babies outgrow things so quickly that it’s better to think of just “renting” the stuff they’re using.
Elana has asked me to blog about “muppeting,” so that we don’t forget. The truth is that you forget a lot of what happens in the first year. I think maybe a lot of it comes back if you have more kids, or when you have grandkids. But maybe some peculiarities of your child’s behavior just disappear forever as they’re outgrown, unless you write them down. My mother mentioned this. “Write it all down,” she said. “I actually forgot your name for about seven years. It was embarrassing. You were just in our address book as ‘that kid who used to live with us.'”
Muppeting is what our son used to do when he first learned to pull himself up on objects. He would vigorously bounce his whole body up and down, bending at the knees, in a way that made him look like a Muppet walking off stage. Or like Liz Lemon on a bad day:
Only he would stand still and do it. It was almost always accompanied by glee and giggling. It was something he did when he was happy.
He now does the same thing, only freestanding. It’s pretty awesome. I have no idea whether this will last. I suspect not — it’d be pretty weird to be muppeting in your cubicle at 27, I guess. But… documented!